Separation Means True Separation (provided by Belli, Weil & Grozbean, P.C.) Question: I'm currently living with my wife while I look for another place to live. (We plan ultimately to divorce.) I understand that there needs to be a period of separation before the courts grant a divorce. Is there a legal definition of "separation" which I should be aware of? Answer: Voluntary separation is when two parties agree that they need to go their own ways. Even though it may not start out as a "voluntary" situation, the parties can eventually come to a mutual agreement that separation was inevitable. Most states require that you child custody child custody live separately for the statutory period of time. This means no cohabitation. Separation means residing (and sleeping) in different locations at all times. Separate bedrooms in the same house do not constitute a separation. The courts distinguish between separation and "desertion", which is when one of the parties leaves without the intention of returning. If the other person forces you to leave, that is "constructive desertion." You won't be penalized by the court if you leave for your own protection or that of the child(ren). Question: When is separation the appropriate course? Answer: Before you think about separation, ask yourself if you've taken all reasonable steps advice on divorce child custody to make the marriage or home situation better by working together. Did you try sitting down calmly with your spouse to discuss the situation? Did you try counseling, either individually or as a couple? Talking to a psychologist, social worker, pastor, or trusted family friend may provide the necessary medium for working out differences. If you have children, consider the impact of staying (or leaving) on them. And never bring them into the fight. Always remember: Children may be resilient, but their armor is only so thick. Children know more, see more and hear more than you think. If staying together is creating an iowa divorce laws child custody emotionally
